It’s funny how we lose ourselves in adulthood and long for the carefree, sun filled days of our childhood.
Now there are expectations, work commitments, responsibilities. We have to be busy, to strive, to achieve.
Way back when, it was all about running barefoot through the damp grass, climbing trees and playing whatever our imagination came up with.
Now we watch what we say.
Then, we just said what came into our minds and expressed what was in our hearts.
I wonder where we go when we grow up?
I wonder if there is perhaps a little rebel in all of us - wild, free, full of laughter and hope and self belief.
Then again memory and nostalgia are funny things. The past isn’t always what it seems. Maybe we deal with pain differently though when we are kids and as we grow older we learn to hide it and it becomes a secret wound we carry deep within our hearts or in the darkest corner of our soul where no one would ever look.
Guarded by shadows we bury the pain and perhaps a part of ourselves with it.
Growing up is painful - it feels like you’re leaving something behind.
Your joy maybe.
Or your outspokenness.
If you’re very unlucky your dreams or your truth or your self esteem.
Sometimes it feels like we’re sleepwalking through life and when we wake up from this nightmare disguised as success or wealth or status, we spend the rest of our time trying to find a way back.
Back to what feels real.
Back to what matters.
Back to our dreams.
And most importantly perhaps, back to ourselves and who we were to begin with.
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I love the texture and tone of this beautiful introspection.